Lone Wolves Have No One to Hear Them Howl

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts, nor measure words, but to pour them all out just as they are, chaff and grain together knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
–George Eliot
Let me ask you something: When was the last time that you talked to somebody else? Really talked? About the hard, rough, and bothersome parts of your life? (At this point some of you probably feel like stuffing your hands in your pockets and looking at the ground…or perhaps you think, “I don’t like the tone of those questions; I’ll just quit reading this now.”) The questions could be more directed: Do you have a person in your life with whom you can be completely open and honest? One that will listen, not out of duty, but desire? To whom do you talk?
We insulate and isolate ourselves from others, both from speaking to them and from hearing from them, and then wonder why on earth we don’t connect. And, when we do speak, it’s something like this, “How are you?”
“Fine. You?”
“Okay.”
I do realize that this common exchange is not the place to bring up the weighty issues of life. No one expects the greeting to sound like…
“How are you?”
“Let me tell you all about it, first…”
Nor should it sound like that, but the vague, pleasant and safe “fine” (when, in fact, things are not “fine”) rings hollow in the mouth of the speaker and pushes him farther and farther from others. And somehow, at times, we take the same approach when speaking to God. God asks, “How are you doing?”
“Fine.”
“Really?”
“Really, I am.”
And all the while we know that He knows.

Then I read Psalms and realize that David didn’t keep much to himself…

I will say to God my Rock, “Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" (Ps. 42:9).

My heart is severely pained within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me, and horror has overwhelmed me (Ps. 55:4-5).

Break their teeth in their mouth, O God! Break out the fangs of the young lions, O LORD! (Ps. 58:6).

As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? (Ps. 42:1-2).

I will extol You, my God, O King; and I will bless Your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless You, and I will praise Your name forever and ever. Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised; and His greatness is unsearchable (Ps. 145:1-3).

Whether mourning, confused, angry, or filled with praise, David made it clear to God (and moreover himself) what was going on within his heart and mind. Yet we go about as though we have no need to be known, no need to be honest, no need to share with a friend the deepest hurts, disappointments or anxieties. We need that connection to grow. That sharing may take place in a small group setting, or with a person willing to pray for you, or with that close friend with whom you can share your heart and be safe. Whatever the context, we must remember: We are not designed to be “lone wolf” Christians.

Are you being completely honest with God?
Do you have a friend to whom you can talk openly and freely?
Do you see your need for authenticity?

Dustin C. George
Minister to Single Adults
www.sevierheights.org