Keep Your Words Soft and Sweet...You May Have to Eat Them

“I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.”
-Publius, a Greek sage


Have you ever been talking to someone, and you reach that point where an internal monologue begins? Your brain says something like this: “Stop talking already. You’ve said too much. Hello, mouth, are you listening to me?” Yet your tongue keeps galloping along no matter how hard you might tug on the reins. We have all been at that place. Those words spoken without thought (or any words for that matter) can never be called back. And we watch helplessly as they stampede along. If only we could discipline ourselves in the area of speech.
I taught high school for a number of years, and one thing I often asked of students was to think before speaking. Often they did not, but on occasion, they did. One particular student comes to mind. After numerous interruptions, I told him that our first step was to give him the opportunity to remedy the situation. I asked, “What do you think would help?”
“Maybe if I thought before I spoke.”
“How long would you need?”
“How about 5 seconds?”
“Alright, here’s what we’ll do. You have a thought, or a question, and you raise your hand. I will keep teaching until at least 5 seconds have passed. If your hand is still up then, and you have thought about your question or comment for that time, then I’ll call on you. But if I call on you, and your response is one that can be taken as an attempt to be silly or disruptive, we will have to find another way to deal with this.” That was our guideline.
The next day, I reminded him of the agreement. I remember the first time that he “self-governed” himself. His hand shot up, and his mouth opened; I just held up my hand, and then spread my 5 fingers. I kept teaching, and saw his expression change to a brow knitted in thought. He nodded to himself and lowered his hand. I asked him later what he had been on the verge of saying. “Nothing I should have said,” was his response.
It’s so simple, think before you speak. I remember reading once that Winston Churchill said of someone, “[He] has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought.” That’s how many of us can be characterized at times: too many words, not enough thought. Yet the warning in the Bible is clear: “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who is restrains his lips is wise” (Prov. 10:19).
“But,” one might say, “I have so much to say; I couldn’t wait 5 seconds.” If I waited 5 seconds before I spoke, and used those seconds to think. I would have much less to say, and much less to ask forgiveness for.
Would a 5 second-rule be a good idea for your speech?



Dustin C. George
Minister to Single Adults
www.sevierheights.org/ministries/singles